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July 2014

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Jul. 24th, 2021

river

Fanfiction Masterpost

For those of you too lazy to dig through my previous entries and tags, my stories now come in a lovely alphabetical form! If at any point you see a linking error or whatever here, let me know so I can fix it!

Alternate copies of all of these fics may also be found here at AO3, with the exception of comment fics written for Five Acts that are posted elsewhere. The comment fics are not on AO3.

BTVSCollapse )


Doctor Who/TorchwoodCollapse )


Harry PotterCollapse )


Merlin BBCCollapse )


NCISCollapse )


Sherlock BBCCollapse )


Star Trek RebootCollapse )


Stargate AtlantisCollapse )


The Walking DeadCollapse )


X-Men: First ClassCollapse )


CrossoversCollapse )
 

Jul. 15th, 2014

river

Random Slice of Life

I love my boyfriend to absolute pieces. He's completely adorkable. About a week or two ago, we had a conversation about possible potential future hypothetical baby names. This is what happened.

Shawn: Hey, what's the name of that one sister from Frozen?

At this point, I give him a bit of a weird look.

Me: ...Anna?

Shawn: No, the other sister. The one with the powers.

At this point, he gets an even weirder look. We have seen this movie a thousand times. He knows this. He knows I know he knows this. The only time it was my idea to see it was when it was in theatres. Every other viewing was his idea. He even has the soundtrack that he plays constantly in his car. (I got it for him for his birthday. The soundtrack, not the car).

Me: Uh, Elsa?

Shawn: I think that would be a good name for a girl. It’s a pretty name. Elsa Dearheart.

And of course that's where he's going. I'm totally not surprised, but its the funniest thing ever.

Me: *grins*

Shawn: What? I like it. Don’t give me that look.

He is totally getting that look. He's lucky that laughter was purely internal.

Me: *grins wider*

Shawn: It's a nice name!

As it is, its a thought. I certainly don't mind the name. Just...

Me: I'm totally telling her whose idea it was if she ever asks, and where you got it from. I hope you know that.

I told you he's adorkable.

May. 30th, 2014

river

I'm Still Alive!

*insert Portal ending theme here*

Anyways, after roughly seven months of extreme lack of internet, with access to only one (then later two because Verizon loves me) gigs of phone data, I return! I only popped up once or twice with my phone because I was trying to conserve data, and mobile tethering sucks up data like nobody's business.

Several new things have happened to me, and the older stuff I can't really remember so, sorry. I recently just stopped with physical therapy. I had to start last month because I've been having horrid pain in my back off and on for the past year or two. It kicked into high gear right after Christmas, and after unbelievably horrible pain for one week straight in April, I said screw it and went to the doctor. Apparently when I went to the doctor after my skating incident in '06 they missed something. A spinal compression fracture type something. And my chiropractor was making it angry. So now I have to do exercises and keep an eye on my posture which is easier said than done. My right side isn't working as hard as it should, my left side is overcompensating, and let's not even get into my core. My core sucks.

My boyfriend and I redecorated his room, and got him new sheets and stuff. Its so nice and airy in there now! Also, we discovered why his room was an icebox in the winter. Whoever put the chest of drawers in there right in front of the really big windows put it right over the heat vent. Bit of an oversight there. Anyways, right after we put on the new sheets, I woke up the next morning with sores on my face (right under my right ear almost) and on the right side of my neck, just off center. It looked like I'd landed on concrete with my face. It stayed for a week and looked horrible with no signs of healing, it just looked worse and started to spread a bit. From the looks of it, I thought it was a bug bite, and then I thought it might have gotten infected because the hydrogen peroxide kept bubbling on contact with it. So, I went to the doctor after a week. Again. She took one look and knew what it was. I was right, sort of. At one point during the night, something, probably a spider because that's how my luck runs, took a few bites out of me. Then some bacteria on my face got into it and boom, a staph infection is born. It took two weeks of scrubbing and pill-taking and cream applying to make it go down, and now its mostly gone. I just think that its going to scar because its all healed but with shiny skin that looks suspiciously scar-like.

I also got employee of the month! I'm glad they didn't take any pictures, because that was when I had the neck-friend and it still showed a little through the makeup by the time they pulled me aside. I got one employee parking space that some people don't seem to realize has an owner for the month, an awesome hoodie, a gift card for the gas station, a gift card for the restaurant in the hotel where I work, some waterpark passes, some golf passes, and a car charm thing. And the bright orange gift bag, but I don't think that counts. I also got a fifty cent raise about a week or two before that, which is nice. I'm not rolling in the money, but 8.50 an hour is better than 8.00 an hour, especially with the hours I'm working.

I also went camping and hiking, and got a lovely sunburn. No ticks, happily. My boyfriend looks like he's wearing sunburn sleeves. He's currently a million shades darker than I am. I keep meaning to dig up some aloe vera for him, because the stuff I got him after my birthday fiasco went mysteriously missing. I swear I put it in a cabinet in his bathroom, but no dice. He didn't even know what I was talking about until I mentioned the evil green goop, and then he still didn't know where it was.

Oh, and I totally forgot about the birthday fiasco. On my birthday, I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and possible cavities filled (I had none! Best birthday present ever!). While I am in the dentist, I get a few texts.

SHAWN: I'm in the hospital....
SHAWN: Can you come pick me up?

Of course, when I get out, I freak. It turns out that beloved boyfriend had been trying to get his tractor started, and had been on the phone with John Deere when he had accidentally touched the jumper cable end to something metal....and the battery exploded. In his face.

He ended up having to get cream or lotion or something rubbed into his face to help it keep in moisture, and put drops in his eyes to help reduce the pH of the remaining acid in his eyes. At least he'd been wearing contacts. He looked like he had a really bad sunburn. Someone is a bad patient, so I had to bully him to put the cream on, which we decided the best bet was aloe vera (which apparently stung) and I had to really fight him to put the eye drops in. If I wasn't there, the medicine stayed in its tube. I adore him, but he's lucky he didn't blind himself.

Also, after about EIGHT months of annoyances, I finally can get into EMT courses! Its a weird hybrid internet/practical course, but I'm game. Now if I can only get through this stupid paperwork......Seriously, who needs background checks for a college course?

Nov. 19th, 2013

river

Boredom works in disturbing and mysterious ways

So, I was bored today, and for random kicks decided to look at the Sex Offender Registry. No particular reason, just boredom and curiosity and whatnot. There's nothing like looking at the list for your county and going, "Oh, hey, I know that guy...and that guy...and...that...guy..."

Lovely.

Nov. 8th, 2013

river

I usually don't have nightmares. This might qualify

I had a dream last night, involving zombies, kittens, and a deer.

My conclusion: Deer are evil.




(Why, you ask? Well, if your dream self had to fend off a deer jumping all over you because you had kittens in your pockets and it wanted to eat said kittens, and then had to pry a kitten out of its mouth, well, you would probably agree. As it is, I don't know if the dream kitten survived the event.)

Nov. 4th, 2013

river

a really personal thing

I really freaked my boyfriend out yesterday. To be honest, I really freaked myself out. I think its something that should have happened, though.

I have never been a big drinker. I tend to avoid alcohol like the plague. My dad was an alcoholic, and while he wasn't abusive to me that I recall, his addiction did cause various problems for our family, and I don't want that to happen to be. I know how easily I could become attached to alcohol, and I don't want that to happen to me.

Shawn is a drinker. He used to be a big big drinker, but he has slowed down, and he's slowed down even more since we started dating. He knows his drinking makes me worry, but he also knows that I don't mind if he drinks as long as he's responsible and safe about it.

Sometimes, when I'm with him he encourages me to drink. I don't usually drink, but sometimes he'll buy me one or open one for me even though I say no. And then I take it--which is my fault. I can just as easily continue to say no and not take it.

On Saturday, we went to a Halloween party. I had two Sex on the Beach, one really strong shot, and three jello shots. I remember being disappointed when I found the Strawber-Ritas and the Lime-a-Ritas in the fridge because it was late and I kinda wanted those too. Yesterday night, I went to the fridge because I wanted a drink. We had a Mike's Hard, and I wanted it. I was disappointed when there was only one in the fridge, but we also had some daiquiris in the freezer and I figured I'd have some of those later.

Shawn followed me, and made a joke about, wow, me drinking two days in a row.

I realized exactly what I was doing, and put the alcohol back. He tried to stop me and said that he wasn't serious, he was just joking, I can still drink. I knew that, but I'd realized something. I wanted the alcohol. I put it back, and I wanted it. I freaked the fuck out, and cried and hyperventilated on him for at least half an hour. I was this close to an anxiety attack. It was getting hard for me to breathe, and I literally couldn't talk. I stuttered all over the place. Even when I was done freaking out, I still couldn't handle him leaving for more than a few seconds. He went to get a glass of water, and when he came back less than a minute later, I was crying again and I clung to him hard.

I talked it out with him on those few occasions that I could talk, and he offered to take out all the alcohol. I said no. He offered to stop drinking for me. I said no. He offered to stop drinking for us. I said 'I appreciate the thought, but no. If you stop drinking, I want you to stop drinking for yourself. I don't want you to stop for me. I don't want you to stop for us. I want you to stop for you, and because you want to. I don't want you to resent me or our relationship for making you stop drinking. That is something you need to do for yourself.'

He tried to tell me that what I was going through wasn't a big deal, that everyone goes through it, that I wasn't drinking every day and Saturday was a one-off because it was a party. But I was scared that two days would turn into three days, three days could turn into four days, and I still wanted that drink. I didn't want water. I didn't want pop. I didn't want juice. I still wanted alcohol. And I recognized that, and it terrified me.

I told him the one thing he could do for me was keep me away from that fridge. Just keep me away from it.

And he did.

When we went to bed, I clung to him hard. When I woke up at 4am, I was thirsty and kinda woke him up when I started to get out of bed. I told him I wanted some water. He stopped me, and got it for me. I started to cry when he left. When I got my water and went back to bed, I clung right back onto him. I woke up a little while later when the alarm went off. When he came back, I clung on him again.

Just the thought of alcohol makes me feel sick. I feel grateful to him for helping me out last night (and inadvertently helping me to that realization, even if I did freak out hard), and I love him so terribly much. I will admit to crying as I wrote this.

I still want that fucking drink, and it scares me.

Oct. 2nd, 2013

river

Big decision time

I got an offer recently. I am seriously tempted to take it, but I don't know if it's the sort of thing I could handle physically. My boyfriend is on the town's fire response crew. He recently got to talking to the fire chief, and the fire chief would love for me to join the crew and then take the EMT courses that are coming in town this December (or maybe its CPR? Both? I still need to clarify this with him, to be honest. Either way, I'd be up for it). Then, the city would pay for me to take courses up to and including paramedic. I've recently been seriously thinking about going back to community college for this sort of thing since I've been getting absolutely nothing in this area with my degree, and this is a really big thing for me. Of course, I'd also be on the fire response crew, which I'm leery about primarily because of the heavy lifting and I'm worried I'd be bad at it. Of course, I could always just go to every other call but the fire calls (but then everyone would know I wouldn't be coming on purpose because my car would still be at home and guess who lives literally right behind the fire station?). I need to make this decision by October 9th, so I can be nominated and then voted on in November in time for me to be signed up for the classes in December if I make it. Its a big opportunity though, and who knows when it will happen again? I'm also worried that I'll lose interest or whatever and stop attending which I doubt will happen but still.

Jul. 26th, 2013

river

Things not to do re: interviews

So, I went to an interview today, and I think I did fairly well (yay!). It probably helps that the interviewer and I at least recognized each other since he lives in the same town and I've seen him at my place at work many times. He's going to pass my interview along at least, so I might have a second interview coming up. Maybe.

Anyways, one thing I noticed today is that people don't even seem to bother for interviews anymore? I've seen various people come in for interviews at my place of work, as well as the various individuals who interviewed before me on the days when I've had interviews, and none of them even seemed to try. I wear nice black pants and a nice top, but today I saw a guy in a polo and shorts and sandals, which while nice-ish, seems more appropriate for hanging out on a nice day than, say, an interview.

And don't even get me started on the jeans.

Just because this isn't a top tier job that you're applying for doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort, jeez. Come on.

The same goes for jewelry, makeup, fragrances, etc. There's not trying enough, and then there is trying way too hard. Just because you like eau de holy crap that's strong, doesn't mean other people do.

Jul. 14th, 2013

river

The Thing With Work Continues

So, remember how our manager is 'no longer associated with the company'? Well, no longer is one of the assistant managers, who was apparently fired due to something that occurred on footage from April despite the supervisor saying that now that the manager is gone, things are going to be different and everyone is going to get a second chance. Except apparently the assistant manager. Who had also been told straight to her face by the supervisor that no one else is going to be fired. Our assistant manager got a lovely surprise when she got back from her vacation, and she had been just about to fire the overnight layabout.

Of course, now everyone is twitchy and paranoid and nervous and stressed, me included. This is not helped by the fact that not one, not two, not three, but four employees are handing in their notice. One has been evicted and has to move, one was planning to leave and that was just pushed up due to something with her grandson, one was planning to leave and going back to college, and no one knows why the fourth is leaving but we suspect its a combination of chemo and the assistant manager getting fired. Meanwhile, I'm dusting off the old resume. Its just the management getting fired for now, but word from the other branches is that they are planning on cleaning this store out. I don't know if that means I'm going to be targeted or not although I keep hearing people say that I'm too good of a worker to be fired, but I still worry. I don't want to be fired.

Also, I'm getting full-time hours with out actually being full-time. Yay money, but I don't get any full-time benefits either, which sucks. At least I'm not pulling 95 hours for this pay period. Just 70 some. (Also, one day off in an entire week. ONE. And I don't have a set schedule, so I'm bouncing all over the place and pulling all different kinds of shifts.) I haven't worked 33 hours in three days or anything to that effect, but I'm still exhausted. And missing the boyfriend. I've only gotten my cuddles in once this week, which yeah, we've gone longer but we were also able to talk on the phone. Now when I get off work, he's asleep; when I'm not at work, he's working; when he gets off work, I'm working. Bah.

Jun. 24th, 2013

river

The thing with work

Okay, so earlier I mentioned that Something was up at work today, and I had my suspicions as to what was going on. Anyways, I got in and both the district and area supervisors were in, the manager was MIA, and both lunch register and lunch pizzas people were still hanging around doing stuff. None of us know the exact details, but our manager is no longer associated with the company, at least one person got written up, and it is possible that a few more people are no longer going to be associated with the company. The thing that makes me happy is that our overnight person is finally getting what has been coming to him, because he literally does not work. He will work the register, then go into the kitchen and sit down. It was apparently a great source of amusement for the supervisors once they got over their horror.

Actually, I predicted this yesterday. I said to the pizza person, "I bet you a million bucks that [our manager] is probably going to get fired soon." I was one of the only people not too terribly surprised. Now where's my million dollars?

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